A list of my baby advice (from what I can remember)

Inspired by Mama Whale, I thought I would do a Buy this/not that post, or really my advice post, from the perspective of someone who has gone through all of the infant stages. We "even me" are still learning what works best for our little ones and what is best for our pockets since babies cost a lot of money....these little bundles of joy do wonders to our bank accounts don't they? Luckily they are cute :) These are merely suggestions that have worked for my little one who is now 2 1/2. I did not breast feed or go organic so these are very generic suggestions.

1. Bottles. If you choose to bottle feed this can be tricky for each baby. My LO was a very gassy baby and had a lot of issues with feeding because she was premature and low birth weight. I originally had AVENT bottles and got so frustrated with forgetting to put the ring in before screwing in the top. And if you have these you know what happens if you forget, formula (or perhaps even more frustrating, breast milk) everywhere!! I went with Dr. Brown bottles because of the ventilation system and the cost. Down side, it comes in a million pieces! DO NOT buy whatever the most expensive bottles are, i.e. Tommy Tippee. Unless you really love them and do not want to switch, there are much less expensive alternatives.

2. Formula. I have no advice on formula since my daughter was on Neocate which is a prescribed formula for infants with milk protein allergies. I'll have to post more about my...interesting...experience with my LO as an infant.

3. Diapers. We went expensive and chose Pampers Swaddlers for our LO. I wont be doing the same with my twins when they arrive in 4 month (excuse me while I freak out about only having 4 MONTHS TO PREPARE! AAHH!) We tried target brand diapers when 'A' was about 10 months old and I am in love. I swear by any generic diaper. During black Friday Babies r us likes to put their brand of diapers and wipes on extreme discount and we buy a ton! at $10 a BOX!! It is so worth it. They are a little flimsy but do the job. I still like target brand the most. Do NOT join one of those diaper websites like diapers.com. It makes sense if you have more than one baby in diapers at a time because they deliver to your home monthly but otherwise you can find better deals at stores. Try a wholesale club like BJs or Costco. Wipes can be generic as well. If on sale I will, still, buy pampers but babies r us are our favorite right now.

4. Diaper Cream. Apparently there are differences between creams. The clear or yellow creams are meant to prevent diaper rashes and you should apply daily. The white creams are meant to heal diaper rashes and although you can apply with every diaper change, they really do their job at curing a rash. Do NOT use baby powder. There is no need. If you have a baby girl you shouldn't be using it anyway as it can cause infection (who knew). This is according to my pediatrician.

5. Baby jar food. Making your own baby food is satisfying and nutritional. I tried and failed miserably. I always bought BeechNut baby food and did just fine. I looked for discounts most times. You DON'T need to start with rice cereal. Always follow dr recommendations, I think they say 6 months is the deal time to start baby food. If your baby hates rice cereal, try a jar food. You can even mix it into the cereal. Every baby is different so follow what works best but don't feel like there is a set regulation on what food to start your baby on. Make sure if buying jar food to start with the right stage.

6. Teething biscuits. 'A' LOVED these when she was teething. Earth's Best had the best ones that could hold up to all the chewing she did. Make sure to put them in a high chair when feeding your LO's a teething biscuit because when mixed with saliva the result can be compared to cement....it is a mess!

7. Diaper bags. When 'A' was an infant, I always had two diaper bags. Both had tons of pockets in and out so I can put bottles and sippy cups in them. I organized using ziploc bags for snacks and a formula dispenser like this one to keep servings of formula in. I always carried bottled water too. My diaper bag weighed a ton! I have to figure out a better way to organize this time around so I am looking to all of you new mommies for advice because I am out of the loop when it comes to baby stuff!

8. Sippy Cups. Every sippy cup leaks no matter what it says on the package. I have tried them ALL! when 'A' was younger, they did  not leak because she didn't shake them. The worse "leakers" were the Nuby brand These are the culprits. If you don't make sure the rubber spout is completely flush against the inner rim it will leak worse than forgetting the AVENT ring...that dreaded ring. I still have nightmares....hours of pumping lost because of that stupid ring. Ok, so with this I suggest trial and error. And coupons. Always buy these with coupons because you will go through enough. And don't buy them at Babies r us because they are way overpriced there always!

I guess the best advice I can give is that more expensive doesn't always equal better quality when it comes to these every day baby items. I did the expensive thing and most either failed to work properly or did not last long at all! I always bought on sale and couponed (once I learned my lesson). That being said, every parent has their favorite products and their own standard when it comes to purchasing items for their LO's. Target has a great variety of organic baby food and typically has their "Earth's Best" brand on sale. Another favorite product I use even now that 'A' is not a baby anymore, fruit pouches like these. They make these with baby food for all stages, so easy to travel with and resealable, for those looking for easy ways to travel by airplane with babies. When your babies become toddlers, it will happen no matter how much you will them to stay babies forever, a product I highly suggest you stay away from are those easy toddler meals you stick in the microwave like these. It is way too easy to make meals that can be reheated for several days. A little broth, some star pasta, a couple of carrots and celery can do the trick for lunch or dinner fr several nights. When your LO's are ready to eat table food, that can easily be put in the food processor and puree'd to their specific texture. Stay away from those pricey meals, really I don't see the point. Hope this helps anyone reading this post. I guarantee you will forget all that you thought you knew once you have baby #2 or #3 (or in my case, 2 and 3 at the same time! I find myself reading all of the posts on this blog learning new things and keeping mental note of fantastic ideas I never thought of. Happy child rearing!

Gently rephrasing

                I’ve always been told not to click angry (click the mouse), text angry, email angry, etc, the gist being that I am more likely to mess things up and or cause damage to relationships that I would later regret. It is generally good advice I think and I try to live by that.  However, today, I’m going to toss out some ofthat logic and blog frustrated.  As you know we are waiting for that elusive travel call and the longer we wait, the more painful the wait becomes.  While I certainly cannot write on behalf of all adoptive parents, I can speak for manyof them, as we seem to have the same types of questions.  Over the past year+, we have heard a variety of painful questions, generally from well-intentioned, but poorly informed people.  So, I will be using this blogspace for some of the questions and possible ways to rephrase them.  

1.       “Why don’t you just go get that little boy?” The short answer is at this stage in the game that would be considered international kidnapping…enough said.  Why it hurts to hear:  There is an impliedundertone that we just haven’t purchased the plane tickets.  Another option:  Waiting must be so hard; doy ou have an expected travel date yet?

 

2.      “Are you going to try and have real kids too?”  I promise the little guy we are bringing back is not a blow-up doll. He is real.  We are counting on the fact that he will be real, that we can laugh with him, have adventures with him, and grow as a family. Why it hurts to hear: we will be a complete family regardless if we every have biological children or not.  If you are really that curious, please use the word biological in lieu of “real.” Another option:  How do you plan on growing your family?

 

3.      “Are you going to encourage your child to have contact with his real mom or dad?” Again, I promise that we will be his real parents, because we will take him to activities, feed him, cloth him, clean up puke, etc.  Why it hurts to hear:  there is an assumption that we don’t love him or aren’t a complete family because we are not biologically related.  Another option:  How do you plan on handling questions and possible relationships with your child’s biological family?

 

4.      “Why can’t family or close friends come for a visit right after you bring him home?”   The agency and our social worker have recommended that we wait 6-8 weeks before allowing guests to come.  This is to encourage our child to bond with us, to build a trust with us, that as his parents, we will help keep him safe, fed, etc.  This is different than bringing a newborn home.  A newborn, you can pass around the room and he or she is indifferent to who is doing the holding.  A toddler that has just arrived at the house however, is trying to figure out who mom and dad is and additional adults could complicate that.  Remember,he has been in a temporary home since he was born.  All that he knows has been pulled out from underneath him.  Why it hurts: we desperately want those grandparents, aunts, uncles and close friends to be a part of our son’s life.  We know those folks are anxious to meet the little guy and we don’t want people to assume we are excluding them long-term, we just have to do what is best for him. Another option:  We are so excited to meet your little guy and be a part of his life, but will gladly wait until you think he is ready to meet us.  As soon as we get the green light from you, we are buying plane tickets! J

 

5.      “When are you going to tell him that he is adopted?”  We’ll begin talking about his adoption in the first year we have him home, as we want that to be an open topic and we don’t want to hide that from him. Of course, we will focus on being age appropriate with the information we provide.  T o me, this is a silly question as there will be obvious physical differences that we couldn’t hide from him, even if we wanted too.  Why it hurts to hear: because of the assumption that we would withhold information from him and/or leave it up to chance.  We want him to hear things from us not a well-intentioned adult or child. This is his story. Another option:  How will you discuss the story of his adoption with him?

 

6.      “Why aren’t you keeping his Korean name?”  For one, we would have a hard time pronouncing it correctly. J  Secondly, if we were having a biological child we wouldn’t give him or her a Korean name.  Third, as a young toddler, moving to a new country, learning a new language etc, it won’t be difficult at all for him to learn his new name. Why it hurts to hear:  What parents want to be questioned on the name chosen for a child?  Another option: What is the significance of the name you chose?  Or how did you go about choosing this name?

 

7.      “I can’t wait until he is home so that I can show off pictures.”  Sorry, but this is about us, as a couple, becoming a family of 3. Why it hurts to hear: our son is not for show and tell and as far as the waiting game goes, it isn’t about others. The waiting game is hard enough on us without having the added pressureto have him home on someone else’s timeline. Another option: I can’t wait until he is home so that you all can start your life together.

 

I’m very fortunate that I have somany friends who are in this waiting game with me.  They are so supportive and reassure me that despite what I think on some days, we will have him home before he is 16 and ready for the prom.  Like I mentioned previously, many of these questions come from well-intentioned people, but words sometimes hurt.  Please love on those waiting to adopt very gently;  they usually don’t have a due date, just a time frame, big dreams and aching arms.

Extracurricular Reading - Giveaways Galore

If you haven't checked out Mommy and Me Giveaways you're missing out. Mommy and Me is a great way to learn about new products and maybe even win a few items for your little one. There is a Facebook page that will keep you in the know as well. There is a great give away right now for a gift certificate to Preppy Parents - a cute online boutique with parent tested products. No matter if you are a new mom or a more experienced mom, you will be able to find something at Preppy Parents.

There is also a give away from Halo for their SwaddleChange, a changing pad that includes an attached upper body swaddle. I can see the need for this. My squirmer is always one second from smearing poop everywhere during diaper changes. On the other hand, it slightly resembles a straight jacket. Halo is a company I have consistently looked to for sleeping and swaddle options. If you are interested, you can win one for yourself over at Mommy and Me Giveaways.

If you know a great giveaway blog, let us know!

Worst Flight Ever ( When Traveling With An Infant Goes Wrong)

After participating in yet another Facebook conversation about traveling with a baby, I feel it is time to share my story of infant travel gone wrong.

We survived our flights to and from Puerto Rico without incident. Baby Peach was a dream, spending some time playing and some time sleeping. It was the late afternoon flight from Atlanta back to Denver where it all fell apart. Bad, we had been upgraded. Worst, due to turbulence, we could not leave our seats. Baby Peach screamed, refused to nurse and finally reached "brain fried" where there is little you can do.

The bottom line is that it was bound to happen sooner or later - with 12 flights under his belt, Baby Peach was bound to have a bad day. I'm honestly glad it happened, because now it's under our belt.

Here is how we handled it:

1. We were overly apologetic to everyone. This even got us an apology from the man in front of us, who said, "I'm so sorry I keep glancing back. I know you are doing every thing you can, so please don't worry."

2. As soon as the seatbelt sign came off we took Baby Peach into the bathroom. These rooms are basically soundproof, so it will buy you some time. There is also a bathroom mirror, which thankfully calmed the little one down - he loves to look at himself!

3. Remain calm. This was not our strong suit on this flight. The added stress of being in first class really threw us for a loop. Papa Peach and I got defensive, and at some point, I outright blamed him for Baby Peach's behavior. Then we took a beat. Papa Peach cracked a joke and we relaxed and instantly the situation got better. The crying seems much louder to you then to the other passengers and the more flustered you get, the more flustered the baby will get. Remember, the jet noise drowns out a lot!

4. Once we were all calm again I was able to use a blanket to set up a little tent where Baby Peach could nurse and it was dark. This meant that he finally fell asleep. A state he remained in until we landed.

5. As one of my more experienced mom friends pointed out on the Facebook discussion - never underestimate the power of giving the baby to dad. People seem to be much more tolerant of a screaming baby in the arms of a dad then a mom. It's not fair, bit it is what it is. So hand that screaming baby over to dad. My boys found their way into the hearts of all the flight attendants - male and female. Baby Peach got a set of wings, a bag of Sunchips and my husband got a glass of wine.

Finally, A Sleeping Baby. 

I firmly believe the key to success is setting the bar really low. In most cases, my bar for traveling with the baby is to survive the flight. I prepare for the worst case and 90% of the time I am pleasantly surprised - the other 10% gives me something to blog about.

Friday's Favorite: Aps

I know the APA says that children under two should have limited to no screen time. I do my very best to not have the TV on when Baby Peach is around. I also try really hard not to use the iPad or iPhone as a toy, but, desperate times... the last 20 min of Stroller Strides, when I'm waiting in the checkout line and basically any time on the plane. So in that spirit, I present my favorite applications for my 10 month old and I ask that you don't judge me.

GAMES
1. iTot - flash cards that play animal noises, show objects and have several language options. A touch to the screen repeats the word and Baby Peach quickly figured out how to side swipe between cards.

2. Peek A Boo Barn - an animal makes a noise from behind the barn doors, tap the doors and they open. A child's voice (or you can record your own voice) says the name of the animal and you hear the noise again. Tap the barn doors again to close and get a new animal. I enjoy the setting in this game that allows you to go through each animal once and then the game ends.

3. Elmo Calls - baby can FaceTime with Elmo. A short video plays with Elmo doing something silly. Since we do a lot of FaceTime with family, Baby Peach is really into "playing FaceTime" and he finds these short Elmo vignettes quite amusing.

PARENTING
1. Baby Tracker - allows you to track diapers, feedings, and sleep. You can have it on multiple devices and set alerts so if your babysitter changes a diaper, you can be alerted on your device. I love the feature that shows your daily schedule as a graph - this was most helpful for learning baby's schedule.

2. Baby Monitor - when traveling I can turn my iPhone and iPad into a video monitor. This app has two settings. The first one is a video monitor that is on all the time, the second one will video or audio call when the baby makes noise for more then a set amount of time (5, 10 or 20 seconds.) This is perfect for when we are away from home.

I would love suggestions for other apps you find helpful. I plan to rely heavily on the iPad for our flight to London. I have hears Yo Gabba Gabba and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse are winners but haven't yet checked them out.

Stork Stack Review

I signed up for the February box from Stork Stack. It's like every other subscription box, filled with five mommy approved, age appropriate items, sent to your door every month. (If you want to check out a more comprehensive review, go here.) I went with Stork Stack after reading this. I thought it was an interesting concept and worth a shot.

This was what we got:

1. Under the Nile Striped Elephant Plush http://www.underthenile.com/underthenile/itemDetailBR714.htm
2. Little Duck Organics Blueberry & Apple: real freeze dried fruits, no sugar added, certified organic, gluten free  http://littleduckorganics.com/
3. 2 packets of EBoost Energy http://www.eboost.com/about/
4. A pair of BabyLegs http://www.babylegs.com/
5. Melissa + Doug Peek a Boo Turtle http://www.melissaanddoug.com/search?q=peek+a+boo+turtle&button.x=0&button.y=0&button=Go

I love BabyLegs (for quick diaper changes without dealing with pulling pants on/off) and Melissa + Doug toys so I was happy to see those. The elephant plush is just adorable! I've never heard of Little Duck Organics or EBoost but would be willing to try them out. All in all, I was pretty happy with it!

What subscription boxes have you considered/done? 

Friday's Favorite Things: Bottles & Sippy Cups

Our favorite bottle has been the Tommee Tippee bottles. They're available at Target, BabiesRUs, and Amazon. Grandma Bee actually started Lil Bee on bottles of pumped milk at 2 weeks old (which initially drove me crazy but ultimately saved us when I was unable to continue BF'g him). A couple of tips: 1) get the newborn set in addition to the 3 pack (5 oz and 9 oz). You'd be surprised how many bottles you go through if you do end up exclusively bottle feeding. 2) if you choose to go with the colic bottles, you need to make sure you get the colic bottle nipples too. You can't use these interchangeably with the standard bottles.

Some features I love about them:

1. The formula container stores right inside the bottle. This is pretty awesome cause it doesn't take up any extra real estate in the diaper bag. 
2. The newborn set comes with 2 handles. This meant Lil Bee was able to hold his own bottle by 7 mos (which gave me the extra minutes I needed to get his pureed food together for his meals). 

(see how happy he is?? =) )

We have not been able to get him to use a sippy cup successfully yet. At this point, I figure he is getting plenty of fluids from the formula so I'm not really pushing the issue but we're still trying out different things nonetheless. We have even been pipetting water through a straw to get him used to straight bottled water which he tolerates for a couple of seconds before he spits it out. We tried the Tommee Tippee sippy and he didn't like how hard it was. Then we tried the Nuby sippy which he liked cause he could chew on it like the Tommee Tippee bottles but he doesn't quite have enough sucking power (?) to get it out of the straw-like valve. I did purchase this for a friend's little girl who just turned 1. I'm hoping they like that one cause that's the one I want to use with Baby Bee.