Keeping baby social and you sane during winter months

For those fortunate enough to live in a state with fairly decent weather all year round, I envy you. For the rest of us that have to live in frigid, not suitable for walks or parks weather during the winter months...this is for you. You are not alone. When I had Adrianna, we had not been living in Massachusetts long. We didn't know very many people that had children and our neighbors on base had older, school aged children so we never connected. I was spoiled with the summer months as 'A' was born in July. We went on walks, we went out for ice cream, we sat outside on the grass and she loved being in the sun. Then the dreaded winter hit. It hit like a ton of bricks that year (or snow actually). We got record breaking snowfalls during that winter. There was a foot of snow on the ground always from December to April. I felt myself feeling alone and lonely. My husband traveled for work often so it was just me and my, then, 4 month old. I had never heard of "mommy and me"classes. I had no one to advise me of such things available to stay at home moms because I knew no one. I googled and found a gym company called "Little Gym." When I saw that you can sign up a child as young as 4 months old I jumped on the opportunity and went to my first introductory class. It was amazing and we have been going regularly ever since!

Being a SAHM, even worse a new mom who is a SAHM and has to live somewhere new because of the military, can be so tough on the social aspect. It takes time to meet people and to make friendships. You aren't exactly in the 'play date' stage because your LO doesn't play yet. It is a very lonely world. I guess what I want to say is that you are not alone in your feelings. I can remember slipping into an almost depression for a while. None of my friends back home had children and my parents were so elated with being grandparents that I felt neglected. Even my husband, i felt, was more smitten by our precious little baby that he was by me. You get so much attention when you are pregnant and everyone is so excited. Once the baby is here everyone is so focused on the needs of the baby that they forget about your needs. I had to learn that I had to take care of me if I wanted to be a good caretaker of my baby girl. I learned to ask for help. I learned to take time for myself. I learned that a short separation from the baby was healthy....even a half an hour at the grocery store. Not that 'A' was a tough baby, she was as easy a baby as they come. But when you find yourself being home most times and not really having adult conversation you long some time to get back to "you." To feel normal again. Going to a mommy and me class like "Little Gym" gave me the socialization I longed for. It was also beneficial for my preemie daughter who I feared would start falling behind on milestones because she was never around babies. She excelled  I met some women who were dealing with the same feelings I was dealing with. It was nice to know I was not alone. That although I loved my daughter to pieces, literally more than my heart could stand, I did not need to feel guilty because I longed to have "me" time as well. Mommy and me classes isn't "me" time, but it was something to look forward to. It was our escape out of the house. It was our social time and it was fun! As 'A' got older I started to make a routine out of LG and going out to lunch just her and I. The older she got, the more neighbors I met who had children around the same age. Seems they too found themselves cooped up in the house during the winter and that spring it was like everyone bloomed and started to venture out. I met good friends. 'A' had play dates finally and I got the hang of the whole being a SAHM thing. It is an adjustment. Just know, there ARE activities. Some are even free if you look in your surrounding town. Don't get stuck at home during the winter and catch the "winter blues" like I did and like many of my fellow new mommies did. What are some activities you will be doing with your LO's? I'd love to hear some of your ideas.

Mom & Baby Activities (or How to Get Out of the House with an Infant)

This is an excerpt from a previous post from my craft blog, Peach Stitches. I though it would be applicable here! 

I've never had trouble filling my days -I always have some project in the wings just waiting to get finished. When little H came along, I knew I would need to make use of his nap time and dad time for my crafty endeavors. However, I never gave any thought to what I would do with all the time that H was awake. At our last base, I had a whole group of pregnant friends and friends with kids. I figured my days would be filled with all the activities I was constantly trying to fit in around work - walks with the girls, play-dates, trips to Starbucks... then we moved.

I knew how to make friends before having a baby - work, socials, shopping. Before the baby, I could make plans at a moments notice and do just about everything. Now I have to consider nap times, meal times, and the fact that little H requires at least part of my attention all the time. So new plan. I would have to find a few new mom friends and some new mom-baby activities.

Luckily, most moms are looking for something similar, so there are a variety of groups that cater to moms looking to hang out with other moms. After a Facebook conversation with one of my best friends (also a new mom), I thought a list of mom-baby activities might be helpful. (Plus this way I will have all the links in one place!)

Most of these national organizations have local chapters that offer a variety of activities. It is certainly about finding the right fit for you and your kid so give them a try- most let you try an activity or two for free. Feel free to add any additional resources you know about. (I'm certainly no expert!)


Military Spouse Clubs - most have a play group or other child friendly options
MOMS Club
MOPS - Mothers of  Preschoolers
La Leche League International -  I haven't been to one of these yet, but I have several friends who loved the breastfeeding support groups.
Stroller Strides - play groups in addition to a whole host of fitness options. This has been my life saver. It gives me a reason to get out of the house, knocks "workout" off my to do list and provides access to a bunch of mom's who have been through what I've been through.
Gymboree Classes  - We haven't checked these out yet, but my Stroller Strides mom's swear by them for an indoor winter activity. It is on my to do list for after the Holidays.
Pottery Barn Kids Story Time - Every Tuesday at 11am with some weekend special events. Call your local store to confirm.
Bring your Baby Matinee - There isn't one here in the springs, but I went in Atlanta and loved the idea that I could bring my baby to the movies with me. I wish this was offered at more theaters.
Monkey Bizness & Little Monkey Bizness  - These are not available everywhere (yet) but one just opened in the Springs. You pay per kid (different rates for walkers and crawlers), but adults are free. There are bounce houses and a variety of little climbing and play structures. It is quite fun and a great place to go for a play date so you have another mom to talk to.

Public Library - Library story times are our favorite! Since I can't link to all the public libraries here are my favorites from the places we have been this summer: Pikes Peak Library District (Colorado Springs), USAFA Base Library, Hampstead Public Library (Montgomery, AL),  Fulton County Library (Atlanta, GA)

YMCA  - The Pikes Peak YMCA's offer 2 hours of child care so you can work out (something the base gyms don't offer) as well as a variety of classes for children, families, and individuals. H and I will hopefully be taking a swimming class very soon!

Montgomery Zoo - This place deserves (and will hopefully get) its whole own blog post at Out of Edwards. They have great activities for families and kids, in addition to the normal fun you would have at the zoo. I can't wait for H to be old enough to try out one of their Stroller Safari's. Again, check out your local zoo because they are bound to have these type of activities.

Children's Museums - I know your thinking that your child is too little for a children's museum. While many activities are aimed at slightly older kids. H has been to Children's Museums in Denver, Erie & Pittsburgh and played for a full two hours. (He is a bit ahead of the curve on the mobile side for a 7 month old, but we see plenty of other babies there having a good time.) For the most part H is free at these museums so I only have to pay admission for the adults with us. We ended up getting a membership to the museum in Denver that offers membership benefits at other museums.

One more resource to check out - the Rookie Mom's Blog has a list of activities to try with kids of any age. I particularly found their list of "25 Things to Try during Maternity Leave" helpful at giving me suggestions to get out of the house with the little one.

A special thanks to everyone who has helped me fill my days with activities H and I can both enjoy.

After reading all sorts of stories about losing your old "non mom" friends in Parenting magazines,  I also want to thank my non-mom friends that continue to hang out with H and I. These ladies have accompanied us to the zoo, park and even had us in their homes. They always smile when H throws one of his fits. I have a special place in my heart for my friends that have accommodated my life change with such grace.

This is stating the obvious, but nights away from the little ones really do make the heart grow fonder ... so don't discard those activates you enjoyed before baby either. Now I just need to find a good babysitter! (Update: I've found a wonderful young lady across the street that H just adores. She is everything you would want in a babysitter - she tells me he missed me (we are having a lot of of separation anxiety these day) but reassures me that they had a great time. Plus, he is always asleep when I get home!) 

*Update 12/2012 - 10 Things You Should Do During Baby's First Year from babble.com