Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Rocking my son to sleep in my underwear (and other things you don't expect after you're expecting)

I rocked my 4 month old son to sleep in my underwear tonight because he puked all over my clothes after I fed him one too many bottles. They don't tell you about that in the books. Oh, and this isn't the first time it's happened either. Oh no, I've rocked a sleepy baby quite a few times in my underwear, so you would think this would have been included in my preparational readings. It's always the same story. My baby seems more hungry than usual, and he just keeps eating, so I just keep feeding him...but there's this voice in the back of my head that says that he's probably not actually hungry anymore. I mean, how could he be? He's eaten a TON. He probably just has a burp that I can't seem to pat out of him and so he thinks he's hungry. But I keep feeding him, because a mom's worst fear is putting her baby to bed hungry. I mean, what kind of mother puts their baby to bed hungry? A bad one. And I refuse to be a bad mother, so I feed my baby until he pukes...

I also did not expect that my son would be able to shoot poop 4 feet and hit a wall.
Or that baby poop would be ridiculously difficult to get out of clothes (I figured out the secret recipe to get it out, if you are interested: Rub Zout into the stain, then wash on warm with Tide with Bleach. If your washer has these settings, delay the wash for an hour (to allow the Zout to break up the stain), auto-soak, and extra rinse.) Works like a charm.

I did not expect that in the chaos of having a new baby at home, a disposable diaper could accidentally end up in a load of laundry, and that disposable diapers explode in the washing machine into a million tiny gelatinous beads that get all over EVERYTHING! (If this happens to you, don't panic like I did. Just rewash the load and dry like normal.)

I did not expect babies to poop in the bathtub.

I did not expect babies to scream bloody murder when you change their diaper (and my husband thought that newborn babies laid still while you changed their diapers!).

I did not expect nursing to hurt like a piranha was nibbling my nipple off for an entire 2 months.

I did not expect to get so frustrated with my baby in the middle of the night when I was severely sleep deprived.

I did not expect it to be so hard to find time to shower, or eat, or brush my teeth (I forgot again today).

I did not expect babies to be so demanding.

I did not expect that I would live for my baby's smile.

I did not expect my baby's laugh to be so funny to me.

I did not expect to rock my baby to sleep for an hour because I couldn't get enough of his warm sweet breath on my cheek.

I did not expect the ferocity of the love I feel for a person I've known for such a short amount of time.



  1. After reading your first two statements, I laughed so hard... I swear we have the same kid :)

    He still spits up, not a lot but frequently. Took him in for a swallow study and he passed (during the test). He's always been like that on breastmilk, Similac, Enfamil, generic... anything we give him he just gobbles up, cries when we try to burp halfway, keep him propped up after feedings, and it still happens. But overall, he's a happy baby who's gaining weight well. I've just given up and always keep a burp cloth close especially when handing him over for others to hold. Now that we're feeding him solids, there's "baby exorcist" in color. :)

    Also there are waaay too many poo incidents to mention in our household (usually while my husband is doing the diaper change). If you knew anything about him, you would know just how calm and collected he is during the whole ordeal which makes the stories even more hilarious (no joke, there was a hand-blocking-poo-from-hitting-the-closet-door incident)...

    Loved this!

  2. The list is endless. The best advice I can give is that it gets so much better with time. If you think you can't possibly love that little baby more than you already do, just wait. Reading this brought back so many memories. Speaking of memory, no one tells you that pregnancy brain lasts long after baby is already here. I can't tell you how many times I would throw out formula because I lost count of scoops i put in the bottle or how many times my husband would come upstairs paniced because I forgot to turn of the stove again! Oh dear lord. But it is so funny to look back on it now. I can barely remember sleepless nights....I just can't wait to do it all again, or can I? :)

  3. I think I'm too emotional to read that even after 5 months postpartum! I was laughing, but then switched to teary eyed just thinking how fast it is going with my little guy!!! Enjoy that half naked rocking!!!