I rocked my 4 month old son to sleep in my underwear tonight because he puked all over my clothes after I fed him one too many bottles. They don't tell you about that in the books. Oh, and this isn't the first time it's happened either. Oh no, I've rocked a sleepy baby quite a few times in my underwear, so you would think this would have been included in my preparational readings. It's always the same story. My baby seems more hungry than usual, and he just keeps eating, so I just keep feeding him...but there's this voice in the back of my head that says that he's probably not actually hungry anymore. I mean, how could he be? He's eaten a TON. He probably just has a burp that I can't seem to pat out of him and so he thinks he's hungry. But I keep feeding him, because a mom's worst fear is putting her baby to bed hungry. I mean, what kind of mother puts their baby to bed hungry? A bad one. And I refuse to be a bad mother, so I feed my baby until he pukes...
I also did not expect that my son would be able to shoot poop 4 feet and hit a wall.
Or that baby poop would be ridiculously difficult to get out of clothes (I figured out the secret recipe to get it out, if you are interested: Rub Zout into the stain, then wash on warm with Tide with Bleach. If your washer has these settings, delay the wash for an hour (to allow the Zout to break up the stain), auto-soak, and extra rinse.) Works like a charm.
I did not expect that in the chaos of having a new baby at home, a disposable diaper could accidentally end up in a load of laundry, and that disposable diapers explode in the washing machine into a million tiny gelatinous beads that get all over EVERYTHING! (If this happens to you, don't panic like I did. Just rewash the load and dry like normal.)
I did not expect babies to poop in the bathtub.
I did not expect babies to scream bloody murder when you change their diaper (and my husband thought that newborn babies laid still while you changed their diapers!).
I did not expect nursing to hurt like a piranha was nibbling my nipple off for an entire 2 months.
I did not expect to get so frustrated with my baby in the middle of the night when I was severely sleep deprived.
I did not expect it to be so hard to find time to shower, or eat, or brush my teeth (I forgot again today).
I did not expect babies to be so demanding.
I did not expect that I would live for my baby's smile.
I did not expect my baby's laugh to be so funny to me.
I did not expect to rock my baby to sleep for an hour because I couldn't get enough of his warm sweet breath on my cheek.
I did not expect the ferocity of the love I feel for a person I've known for such a short amount of time.